To start this blog off, I’d like to share something I wrote about my struggles with anxiety. I think of this as following my future ego (Breath of Calmness) towards a new and better me. I want to have less stress and relax more. I want to clear my mind from thinking about the negatives, rather give room for positive thoughts, hopes and aspirations.
I find myself struggling with the fear of the future. Where will I go? What will I do? How and when will I die? If this is also something you struggle with, you’re not alone. I find myself thinking these things all the time. Sometimes it keeps me up at night.
I find myself not being able to breath properly when I think those thought. I find that I think about it constantly as my day goes by. Sometimes distracting myself with my favorite hobbies (for me that’s reading and drawing) could work, but there are moments that not even the things I love can get rid of these thoughts.
I want you to know that these thoughts will never truly go away. It’s part of the human anatomy to worries and fear things. What we can control is how we let said fears control our lives.
If you find yourself like me, (stuck, anxious and overthinking everything), I want you to take a moment and acknowledge the thoughts that you’re having. Understand the fears that you’re feeling and write them down:
Fears: Getting sick, death, not getting a job, strangers, being alone…
Once you written them down, I then want you to try and peer into the future and write down what type of person you want to become. How do you WANT your future to look like:
Dreams: Write a book, have a hit song, run a business, healthy and safe, can talk to other…
This is something you’re aiming for. This is something you want to become. You can say this is your future ego and you can name said ego whatever you want. (Mine is Breath Of Calmness).
So now you want to think about how you can GET to that future ego:
Steps: do meditation, sleep more, eat healthy, learn new skills and do homework, better improve my writing.
Writing down your fears, goals and steps to achieve your goals should help your brain dumb down and simplify the process to having a less stressed life style. (And it creates something that you can focus on)
Now, if you want to go even further, you can create a poem, story, comic, drawing or whatever media you’d like, to sort of get a visualization of what your future ego looks/feels like. As I am a writing geek, I wrote this short poem to visualize what “Breath of Calmness” feels like to me.
/ depiction of overcoming anxiety and stress /
The breath of calm sweeps it’s way up my lungs and down my nose as I take a long exhale. it’s 6:30 am, the time I get up each morning to go to school. My night’s rest settle in my heart as I find myself ecstatic, energetic for the new day.
The breath of calmness follows me on my way to school. Today was a special day. A presentation day. The tinniest doses of nerves make their way in my head. But I always tell myself I am ready; I can do this.
The breath of calmness follows me when I’m alone, thinking of my future. Of my death. I try to focus on the present and now. Trust life to take it’s course.
The breath of calmness is with me when I feel anxious. When my parents demands becomes suffocating and my sibling’s play gets annoying. I always have a book that I read. Imagining myself as the lead, the savior everyone would sing “hooray” for.
When I look at my shadow, I see the dark clouds, anxious thoughts that can never truly be avoided. But the breath of calmness gives me a light to follow. A person to become. So at the very least, I’m walking towards better.
No matter how long that journey takes.
I hope this helps anyone who’s been feeling extra stress and anxious in this past year like me, and I hope that this may help you cope with it better. Do you relate? If so you can message me if you ever want someone to talk to.
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